Thursday, May 31, 2007

From all over the world

Si uite un copy/paste de succes....

O minunata colectie de instructiuni si rugaminti adunate cu grija de superprietena mea Danutza. Un simplu click pe titlu va va duce la blogul ei amuzant. Pana atunci plagiez cu placere, pentru ca ea apare "Nu la biroul ei" si eu nu mai am minute pe orange.Totusi, primele le-am aunat eu din calatorii, si nu stiam cum sa le postez, pentru ca erau prea putiine sa dea un post...

La o casa de batrani din Sacele, Brasov:
"Va rugam folositi periile de WC cu incredere"

La un restaurant/terasa in Russel Square, Londra:
"Mind your plate.We will not replace any food eaten by the pigeons"

La un restaurant de sosea intre Oradea - Cluj:
"Va rugam pastrati curatenia. Este un apel la constiinta dumneavoastra. Stim ca nu ne veti dezamagi"

La unfeldelocciudat in toaleta (gaura in podea) Valencia, Spania:
"In order to avoid getting drunk, drink a glass of water every time you pee"

Si acum plagiem

Cocktail Lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest Zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD.

Doctor’s Office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLS AND HEATS: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE, THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR.

Dry Cleaner’s, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

Sign in men’s rest room in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK, TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.

In a Nairobi Restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

On an Athi River Highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a City Restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

One of the Mathare buildings:
MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom handdryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a Pumwani maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Sign in Japanese public bath:
FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.

Tokyo Hotel’s rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE PROHIBITED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

Hotel Notice: Tokyo:
IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO SUCH A THING, PLEASE NOT TO HAVE NOTICED.

On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

In a Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Hotel Room Notice: Chaing-Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.

Hotel Brochure: Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel Lobby, Bucharest:
THIS LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Hotel Elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel Yugoslavia:
THE FLATENNING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.

Taken from a menu, Poland:
SALAD A FIRM’S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE’S FASHION.

Supermarket, Hongkong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

From a Soviet Weekly:
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERSAND SCULPTORS. THESE WHERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.

In an East African newspaper:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IN RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

Hotel Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:
IT IS STRICKLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BED ROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

An advertisement by a Hongkong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVER CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

In the window on a Swedish furrier:
FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY – NO ICE CREAM.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

courtesy of BeatMort.ro

Friday, May 25, 2007

Atarnand de o semi-vedeta

Gata...nu ma mai pot abtine...

Propunerea si ideea mea era sa tin blog doar asa cand sunt plecata sa mai stie lumea ce-am vazut si ce-am facut. Dar cum nu mai plec, si cum in Bucuresti se intampla atat de multe lucruri, pur si simplu nu ma pot abtine. Adica trebuie sa stiti ce fac, unde umblu, cu cine ies, de ce si ce fac acolo...la ce bun sa tinem viata personala pentru noi insine?

Ce-am facut aseara? Am iesit in lume, lume multa, lume buna, mondenii.
De fapt, am pornit cu gandul la o seara linistita in Music Club, cu 3 prieteni relativ proaspeti. Ajunsi insa la fata locului am aflat ca nu e chiar o seara obinuita: petrecere jack daniels, free bar, in cinstea lui Tudor Chirila si prietenii sai. Oh, da ...fac parte din prietenii apropiati. A spus-o pe scena:"Aici suntem doar noi, intre prieteni". Dar asta mult mai tarziu....

La inceputul serii, ajunsi printre primii invitati, ne-am asezat la o masa relativ intr-un colt, si au inceput "paparazzi" sa dea tarcoale, sa masoare din obiectiv daca nu suntem cumva ceva vedetutze cu look schimbat, ceva pui de vedete, intorcandu-si de fiecare data privirile dezamagite. Totusi, aveam si noi "vedeta" de la masa noastra, Radu Banzaru, actor pe care l-ati vazut ultima oara in reclama la salamuri nemtesti, Reiner. "Aber...Ca de obitzei..." Ghiceam tot felul de posibilitati, in cazul in care am aparea in Star/Vip/Ciao, ce ar pune sub patratelul cu poza noastra : "Actor din reclama la salam cu 3 atarnatori. Domnisoara blonda scrie un sms pe sub masa. Sa fie catre fostul ei prieten?"

Mult mai interesant a fost pentru ei cand au inceput sa curga vedetele pe banda: Doamna Chirila, Gabriel Cotabita, Laurentiu Duta, hai Chiu, Iulia Vantur, Marius Moga, multi altii si mult asteptata Andreea Raicu, frumoasa ca intotdeauna (va rog nu contesati).

Au intretinut atmosfera trupa 13, cu coloana sonora Club A, ascultata live de data asta. Got my mind set on you, a fost urmata de un binevenit moment in care a urcat pe scena trupa Vama (de ce nu Vama Veche??). Au cantat foarte frumos, din repertoriul fostei formatii, Calul din Marlboro, Vara asta.., si V.S.T. cu dedicatie "te iubesc" pentru Andreea Raicu. Oare se iau?

Si asa m-am simtit eu din nou ca in liceu, cand eram fana infocata V V , in primul rand la concerte, backstage la autografe dupa concerte, aproape un groupie dupa ce m-am mutat la Bucuresti. Pacat de tot ca s-au despartit, dar oricum cred ca si Vama o sa aiba un viitor, mai scurt, si mai prost primit de public, salvat de talentul lui Tudor Chirila, care m-a facut ieri sa imi aduc aminte de liceu...

Moment supriza, dupa recitalul Vama, a urcat in scena ca un adevarat Megastar, Catalin Castigatorul Concursului, care a venit taman din Chisinau, a secat Prutul dintr-o sorbire, a castigat concursul Megaslab, si a poposit in Music Club sa ne (in)cante. Lamultiani si TomJones-uri, scurt moment muzical care nu a deranjat cu nimic.

Si uite asa, am devenit mondena, am scris niste idei demne de revistele care observa ca nu sta bine tivul de la cracul stang al pantalonului vanzatorului de la chioscul de ziare, de unde isi cumpara verisoara Andreei Balan revista Ciao!